I wished they would work with their son/daughter?
I wished they would come to parent-teacher conferences?
Don't they care about their child?
I wished I could contact Johnny's parents?
There phone is disconnected again!
As educators we have heard these and many more like this from teachers and administrators. Yes, it is hard at times to work with parents of children in our classrooms, but we have to do it.
We need to stop and think about how we deal with them to make working with parents easier. Parents are never going to leave the equation of the classroom.
In my experience as a classroom teacher of 18 years, I have learned things that I have used to help me deal with the different types of parents that you come across.
1. We have to listen to them.
I know it is easier said than done at times. So, many parents what to be heard and they don't feel like they have been. They feel that they don't have a voice any more in their child's education. We need to change this and make them more comfortable to come and talk to us. We need be unbiased when listening to the parents. Parents need to know that we care about them as well, and a good way is to listen to them.
2. We have to compromise at times.
I have had my share of parents mad about the decisions I have made about their child. I learned very quickly that if you can compromise with the parent it will make the relationship with that parent easier. Most of the time, we as educators make decision about children in the heat of the moment. We are angry, disappointed, and many other emotions about what the child had done. We also need to hear all sides and sometimes that comes from the parent. Yes, there are some parents that you cannot do this with, but you would be surprised how many will back down and you can work it out.
3. We work for the parents.
I have mentioned to many teachers during the 18 years that I have taught, and I get the same reaction most of the time. "Well, I guess we do, never thought of it that way." I have told this to parents as well and I get the same reaction from them. When I got into this mindset, I found it easier to deal with the parents. We need to make them satisfied of our service that we are providing. That service we are providing is to educate their child for that year we have them. Yes, it is hard at times to satisfy every parent, but you have to try!
4. Remember that parent is trusting you with their child.
When that parent meets you at Meet The Teacher night or on the First Day of School, the parent is trusting you with their child. It is just like when you leave your child with a babysitter, you are trusting that babysitter is going to keep your child safe. It is the same feeling that parent is feeling when they have you as their child's teacher. They want you to keep the child safe and make their child successful that year.
5. Admit when you are wrong.
Yes, this can be hard! When we realize we are wrong, we need to tell the parent we are wrong and correct it right away. Everyone makes mistakes, we are only human! When I have had to do this to a parent, in all of the cases, the relationship I had with that parent drastically changes towards a good relationship. It is not always easy to do, but it definitely needs to be done!
As a teacher, you will always have to deal with parents. It is not always easy to do everything they think you need to do for their child. The last thing you have to remember is that you have to RESPECT them at all times!
