Dealing With Parents

I wished they would work with their son/daughter?

I wished they would come to parent-teacher conferences?

Don't they care about their child?

I wished I could contact Johnny's parents?

There phone is disconnected again!

As educators we have heard these and many more like this from teachers and administrators.  Yes, it is hard at times to work with parents of children in our classrooms, but we have to do it.

We need to stop and think about how we deal with them to make working with parents easier.  Parents are never going to leave the equation of the classroom.

In my experience as a classroom teacher of 18 years, I have learned things that I have used to help me deal with the different types of parents that you come across.  


1.  We have to listen to them.
I know it is easier said than done at times.  So, many parents what to be heard and they don't feel like they have been.  They feel that they don't have a voice any more in their child's education.  We need to change this and make them more comfortable to come and talk to us.  We need be unbiased when listening to the parents.  Parents need to know that we care about them as well, and a good way is to listen to them.

2.  We have to compromise at times.
I have had my share of parents mad about the decisions I have made about their child.  I learned very quickly that if you can compromise with the parent it will make the relationship with that parent easier.  Most of the time, we as educators make decision about children in the heat of the moment.  We are angry, disappointed, and many other emotions about what the child had done.  We also need to hear all sides and sometimes that comes from the parent.  Yes, there are some parents that you cannot do this with, but you would be surprised how many will back down and you can work it out.

3.  We work for the parents.
I have mentioned to many teachers during the 18 years that I have taught, and I get the same reaction most of the time.  "Well, I guess we do, never thought of it that way."  I have told this to parents as well and I get the same reaction from them.  When I got into this mindset, I found it easier to deal with the parents.  We need to make them satisfied of our service that we are providing.  That service we are providing is to educate their child for that year we have them.  Yes, it is hard at times to satisfy every parent, but you have to try!

4.  Remember that parent is trusting you with their child.
When that parent meets you at Meet The Teacher night or on the First Day of School, the parent is trusting you with their child.  It is just like when you leave your child with a babysitter, you are trusting that babysitter is going to keep your child safe.  It is the same feeling that parent is feeling when they have you as their child's teacher.  They want you to keep the child safe and make their child successful that year.

5.  Admit when you are wrong.
Yes, this can be hard!  When we realize we are wrong, we need to tell the parent we are wrong and correct it right away.  Everyone makes mistakes, we are only human!  When I have had to do this to a parent, in all of the cases, the relationship I had with that parent drastically changes towards a good relationship.  It is not always easy to do, but it definitely needs to be done!


As a teacher, you will always have to deal with parents.  It is not always easy to do everything they think you need to do for their child.  The last thing you have to remember is that you have to RESPECT them at all times!  

Book Revel

Wow! I don't even no where to begin writing about what happened today.....

It all started back on Friday, April 20th, when my boss, Todd Nesloney, loaded up four school buses and took us to the Scholastic Warehouse to buy books for ALL of our students.  He gave each teacher a budget and told us to buy as many books as we could for our students.   Definitely a teacher's dream come true.

When I stepped into the warehouse it was very overwhelming.  The Scholastic team was opening up there warehouse just for us to come buy books for our students.  They also made us the offer if we bought one book we would get one free.  It was an amazing deal.  Again, definitely a teacher's dream come true!

As I went down the aisles picking the books for my students and seeing so many that the kids would love, my heart was bursting with joy and my mind was overwhelmed.  I started piling books into my cart.  My cart became overflowing with books and I thought I bet I am over my limit.  So, I thought I better go and check out.  When the lady told me that I was not close to my limit and that I could go back and get more books, I thought wow look all the books I already have and I could buy more.  So, I went back and got more books.  When it was all said and done, I bought 272 books for my 17 students.  I could not believe how many books I would be giving out.  It was hard not to tell my students that I had bought so many books for them when they came back to school the following week.

Moving forward to last Saturday, I went up to school to divide the books out for the BIG revel on Monday, May 7th.  As I was taking out the books from the boxes, I was getting overwhelmed again and this time teary eyed because I knew these books would be going home on Monday and that the students were going to be so happy to get books for their houses. 

Monday, May 7th was finally here!!!  The kindergarten teachers went to the cafeteria during their conference time and started placing their stacks of books for each child onto the tables.  Once we were done we placed a plastic table cover over the table so the students couldn't see what was under them.  When we brought the kids in, we told them that they could not touch anything on the table.  There were many different looks.  Some where wondering what was going on.  While others were wanting to ask me questions of what is going on.  Our assistant principal, Ms. Short told the kids the background information and then started counting down for us teachers to remove the plastic covers.  Once we did we heard screaming of joyful kids.  They could not believe that they were looking at so many books and that they were able to keep them.  Some were laughing because they were so excited.  Some of the students told me they could not wait to get home and show their mom or another family member about their books.

Every child in our school took home books today that their teacher bought them!  It was amazing to see so many book bags going home today and students wanting to take there books out to read!

I have taught for 18 years and never have experienced anything like this.  I work in a small town in Texas and never thought I would be able to bless my students in such away.  It just goes to show that as educators the sky is the limit and if you put your mind to an idea it can come true!

Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Wow, it can be rather hard as an educator to get out of your comfort zone.  You don't want to fail and let everyone see it.  It is so much easier to keep doing the things you do because you know you can do them correctly.  You are comfortable with doing it the way you have always done it.

Well, I have had the opportunity to push myself out of my comfort zone twice in about a years time.  Both times, it was my boss, Todd Nesloney, pushing me.  About two weeks ago, he asked me if I would moderate the Kids Deserve It Twitter Chat.  I had a million thought go through my head.  Here are some of them.

1. Who, me!  
2. He has to be just joking.
3. What would be my questions?
4. I am just a beginner when it comes to Twitter.
5. I am not at his level in the education world.
6. I am scared to death to say yes, but he is my boss, so I better say yes.
7. I am going to FAIL.

I talked to several people after saying yes.  I just knew I made the wrong decision.  I sought out a co-worker that had already done it.  He told me that it was not hard and that I could do it.  I then talked to one of my biggest cheerleaders, my mom.  She told me that she was so proud of me and that I better not turn it down.

So, I picked up the book that I wrote a small piece in, the book was Stories From Webb.  (The other time I went out of my comfort zone.)

As I started reading my little section, I started coming up with so many questions.  In fact, I had more then the four I needed to do the chat.  As I was coming up with the question, I typed them in a Google Doc and then picked the four best.  Or at least I thought they were the best ones.  Then I shared the document knowing that Todd would just laugh at me and tell me that they were horrible.  Well, that did not happen.  He thought they were good and to use them.

I then sat down with him to show me how to schedule them.  I had already decided that this would be hard.  As I sat there watching how he was doing it on his computer (because mine was not working correctly at the moment), I realized my thinking was all wrong.  Granted, I also was thinking, I am going to get back to my classroom and not be able to do it.

When I went back to my classroom, I thought "okay here it goes, I am going to try it and hope for the best."  As I was typing, I kept thinking "this is way to easy, I must not be doing something right."  I then showed Todd, and he said great!

The night of the Twitter Chat I was so nervous.  The tweets were showing up so fast and it was so hard to keep up with what people were typing in.  The 30 minutes went by so fast.

I am glad that I was pushed out of my comfort zone and did this.  I realized that I was thinking it was so much harder then it really was.  Thank you Todd for pushing me.

It is hard to push yourself out of that comfort zone, but when you do you find out that you learn more about yourself and others.

I am now in the process of thinking what will be the next thing that will push me to get out of my comfort zone.  Will it be to present in the symposium next year in our district.  Will it be trying to find a position that gets me out of the classroom.  Will it be to have another student teacher next year.  I am not for sure yet, but I know when the opportunity is before me I will take it and be uncomfortable for awhile and be glad at the end that I took on the challenge.

I challenge you today to push yourself out of your comfort zone and try something new.

No Dads

Do you have students that come up to you and say the following things?

• My dad does not live with me and I wish I could see him?
• I don't know my dad, but I wish I did.
• I wish I could hang out with my dad this weekend, but it is not the correct weekend for me.
• I don't know if I have a dad, Mrs. Marsh.
• My dad is in jail/prison and I don't know if I will ever see him again.
• Mrs. Marsh I don't have a dad, do you?

I started my journey in the classroom in 2000.  Every year, I would have a student come to me with one of those statements.  All those statements always tugged at my heart as a teacher.  I always tried my best to comfort those students and tried my hardest to understand them.  It was hard because I had my dad.  I didn't completely understand what they were going through.

Then flash forward to October 2016, I received a call from my mom that my dad had become really sick and that I needed to come as quick as I can because he might not make.  He lasted for two weeks and then went onto to be with the Lord.

I remember sitting down in my classroom soon after coming back to work and realized that I am just like those students in my classroom with no dad.  I remember beginning to cry for myself, but for all those others students feeling like I did.  I remember those feelings and here were just a few of those feelings:  sad, scared, lonely, and angry.  Granted, there were so many more I felt.  I wanted to go back and find my former students and tell them that I now understand what they were going through and sorry for what I said to them because I am sure it didn't help.

Since, I went through this experience of losing my dad, I sure have more empathy for these students.  I can understand now how it affects their learning and behavior in class.  It is hard to understand these emotions as an adult at times.  I cannot imagine feeling these same emotions as a child.  

I have more compassion and really want to help them more, because I am just like them.

So, when a child comes to you and says they miss their dad, give them compassion even if you don't know what they are feeling.  You can send the student to another teacher that understand what they are going through if you haven't been in their shoes.

Just remember what a child feels is a real thing!

Reflections of 18 years

The other week I was looking at my Facebook feed and seeing several teachers fill out and post the following:

TEACHER STATS
Years:
Levels:
Approximate number of students:
School districts:
Buildings:
Principals:
Classrooms:
Subjects taught:
Retired:
Teacher friends, what are your stats?

It got me to think about my career and other reflections about teaching, so instead posting my stats on Facebook, I thought I would turn it into a blog.  So here are my stats:

Years:  18
Levels:  Kinder, 4th and 5th grades
Approximate number of students:  over 400+ students
School districts:  3
Buildings:  3
Principals:  4
Classrooms:  7
Subjects taught:  reading, math, social, studies, science, social skills
Retired:  when God tells me

My first thought in reflecting was:  Wow, have I taught that long!  It has gone by so fast.  I can remember so great times and some not so great times of my career.  I have learned and seen a lot in those years, but somethings never change with this profession.  Here are the things that don't change:

Students:  The type of students I taught in the school year 2000-2001, are the same type of students that I will be teaching in 2016-2017 school year.  Yes, the students that I taught back then had more money, but they are all the same!  Students want to be LOVED, RESPECTED, and show that they MATTER!  Students are looking for this when they enter the classrooms.  They are not looking for it just one day, but ALL the days they are in school.

Administrations:  I have worked with many different styles and approaches.  Some of them have been good and some that could have been better.  I have learned that you shouldn't let a bad administration team stop you from being that great teacher you are meant to be.  There are ways to work around it, yes it might be a challenge, but you can do it.

Teachers:  During my career, I have taught with some GREAT teachers and some not so great teachers.  I have always tried to learn from each type so that I can become that GREAT teacher.  I really think that if you want to become that GREAT teacher, you need to surround yourself with great teachers.  You also need to keep learning yourself.  I have always in my career tried to learn more and more.  Yes, I have to admit there were some years I didn't take this approach.  I look back at those years, and I was not as good of a teacher.

As I end my reflection, I hope one day I can become that GREAT teacher one day that I want to be!

Why I Started My Blog

I never thought I would ever think about blogging.  Blogging is for other people that have something to say I thought.  I don't have anything to say that people would find interesting to read.  My thinking on blogging started to change one day last school year.  In fact, one person planted that seed to start making me think about going on this journey of blogging.  That one person is my boss, Todd Nesloney.

Last school year, he came to the staff to tell us this idea that he had.  The idea was to write a book with all of our voices.  When walking out of that staff meeting, I thought well that for sure is not me.  As time went on and more and more people kept talking about it, I thought well I guess I could write something for the book.  As I set down to brainstorm ideas I could write about, I had a list of ideas.  I choose one idea and wrote.  I kept the list of ideas, I really didn't know what I was going to do with it.  I just thought it sure is a good list for something.

Fast forward to January 24, 2018, and the book was released with all our stories.  Here is a picture of the book.

I never imagined that I would ever see my words and thoughts in print ever.  When I was able to hold the actual book and see my words in print, I realized that maybe I do have something people might want to read about.  The thought kept coming to my mind and started maybe I should go down this journey of blogging.

I really don't know where it will take me and what is going to happen in the future with this blog, but I am going to get out of comfort zone and start.