No Dads

Do you have students that come up to you and say the following things?

• My dad does not live with me and I wish I could see him?
• I don't know my dad, but I wish I did.
• I wish I could hang out with my dad this weekend, but it is not the correct weekend for me.
• I don't know if I have a dad, Mrs. Marsh.
• My dad is in jail/prison and I don't know if I will ever see him again.
• Mrs. Marsh I don't have a dad, do you?

I started my journey in the classroom in 2000.  Every year, I would have a student come to me with one of those statements.  All those statements always tugged at my heart as a teacher.  I always tried my best to comfort those students and tried my hardest to understand them.  It was hard because I had my dad.  I didn't completely understand what they were going through.

Then flash forward to October 2016, I received a call from my mom that my dad had become really sick and that I needed to come as quick as I can because he might not make.  He lasted for two weeks and then went onto to be with the Lord.

I remember sitting down in my classroom soon after coming back to work and realized that I am just like those students in my classroom with no dad.  I remember beginning to cry for myself, but for all those others students feeling like I did.  I remember those feelings and here were just a few of those feelings:  sad, scared, lonely, and angry.  Granted, there were so many more I felt.  I wanted to go back and find my former students and tell them that I now understand what they were going through and sorry for what I said to them because I am sure it didn't help.

Since, I went through this experience of losing my dad, I sure have more empathy for these students.  I can understand now how it affects their learning and behavior in class.  It is hard to understand these emotions as an adult at times.  I cannot imagine feeling these same emotions as a child.  

I have more compassion and really want to help them more, because I am just like them.

So, when a child comes to you and says they miss their dad, give them compassion even if you don't know what they are feeling.  You can send the student to another teacher that understand what they are going through if you haven't been in their shoes.

Just remember what a child feels is a real thing!